Disclaimer- This article is intended for women wishing to improve their marriage. Those that are victims of abuse, infidelity and similar situations is a completely different ball game. I urge you to seek professional help and guidance for your safety and the safety of your children.
Marriage is a beautiful and fulfilling journey, but it’s no secret that it can also be incredibly challenging. One of the most important factors in building a strong and lasting marriage is learning to prioritize it above everyone else except God Himself. When you make your marriage a priority, you create a solid foundation built on love, trust, and respect that spills over into all your relationships. Whether you’re thinking of getting married, a newlywed or a seasoned veteran, join us as we delve into the importance of putting your spouse first in your marriage and how it’s the key to all of your relationships!
For those of you that have read Encouragement When Going Through Hard Times, you know that I’m divorced and remarried. I’d like to think through the painful process of divorce and the joyous marriage I now have, I’ve learned a thing or two. My hope is to share what I’ve learned with you here.
If you are single, dating or engaged, please consider what I have to say before you make that lifelong commitment. By God’s design, marriage should be forever. So, before you take that big step really ask yourself if both you and your potential spouse are on board before you go any further.
THE POWER OF PUTTING YOUR SPOUSE FIRST
One of the most powerful ways to build a strong marriage is by prioritizing your spouse. This means waking up every morning and thinking about what they need from you that day, making time to connect with them, and actively working to strengthen your bond. By doing this, you create a foundation built on trust, respect, and love that can weather any storm.
One of the challenges of prioritizing your spouse is finding the time to do so. With busy schedules and other responsibilities, it’s easy for your relationship to fall to the bottom of your to-do list. But making your spouse a priority doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. It can be as simple as setting aside a few minutes each day to connect with them, whether it’s through a phone call, text message, or in-person conversation. Every day my husband works, he sends me a text telling me to have a good day and he can’t wait to see me when he gets home. Simple, but so effective! When I don’t get that text, I feel it.
Another way to prioritize your spouse is by showing appreciation for the things they do. This could be something as small as thanking them for doing the dishes or telling them how much you appreciate their support. By acknowledging the ways in which your spouse contributes to your life, you create a sense of mutual respect and gratitude that can strengthen your bond.
Prioritizing your spouse means actively working to improve your relationship. This could mean seeking outside support from a therapist or counselor, joining a small group at your church, having difficult conversations about your needs and expectations, or simply being open to feedback and willing to make changes. By committing to the ongoing work of building a strong marriage, you create a foundation that can withstand the ups and downs of life.
LET’S HAVE SOME FUN WITH OUR SPOUSE!
We also need to make time for shared experiences. This could be anything from a regular date night to a weekend getaway. By prioritizing time together, you create opportunities to connect and create new memories. It’s these shared experiences that can make your relationship feel more meaningful and fulfilling.
THE IMPORTANCE OF LOVE AND RESPECT
Putting your marriage first means focusing on your spouse’s needs and desires, making time for them, and showing them that they are valued and loved. However, it is not just about fulfilling their physical and emotional needs, but also about showing them respect. Respect is an important aspect of any relationship, but it is especially crucial in a marriage.
Respect means treating your spouse as an equal partner, valuing their opinions and ideas, and acknowledging their strengths and weaknesses. It also means refraining from disrespectful behavior such as belittling, name-calling, or constant criticism. When both partners show respect, they create a safe and supportive environment for each other, which fosters growth and deepens their bond.
Love and respect are intertwined in a marriage, and both need to be present for a relationship to thrive. When a couple shows love and respect to each other, they create a strong foundation that can weather any storm.
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION TIPS FOR COUPLES
Along with love and respect, effective communication is critical for a lasting and healthy marriage. Communication involves more than just talking; it’s about active listening, empathy, and understanding. Here are some tips that can help couples communicate more effectively:
- Listen attentively: When your partner is speaking, give them your undivided attention. Maintain eye contact, nod, and ask clarifying questions to ensure that you understand their point of view.
- Speak honestly: Always be truthful with your partner, even if it means admitting fault or vulnerability. Honesty builds trust and fosters intimacy.
- Show empathy: Try to understand your partner’s perspective, feelings, and needs. Validate their emotions and avoid dismissing them.
- Avoid criticism: Instead of attacking your partner, focus on expressing how their actions make you feel, and suggest ways to resolve the issue together.
- Take responsibility: Acknowledge your mistakes, and apologize when necessary. Be willing to compromise and find solutions that work for both of you.
By implementing these communication tips, couples can establish a strong foundation for their marriage.
BUILDING A STRONG MARRIAGE TOGETHER
Couples who prioritize their partner’s needs and goals are more likely to build a strong and lasting marriage. While individual growth and development are essential, it is equally important to come together as a team and work towards shared aspirations. I really like to focus on the word “TEAM”. I use it a lot when I talk to newly married couples. When you work together, even on hard things, you have a much stronger bond with each other. To build a strong marriage together, couples need to communicate openly and honestly about their goals and dreams. They must be willing to listen to each other’s perspectives and be supportive of each other’s aspirations.
When my husband and I got married, our pastor recommended this Cord of Three Strands that we bound together during the ceremony. The gold strand represents God; the purple, my husband; and white, me. *As Amazon Associates we earn a small commission off of your purchases at no extra cost to you.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.
One way couples can build a strong marriage together is by engaging in activities that they both enjoy. Whether it’s taking a cooking class or going for a hike, engaging in shared activities can help couples bond and create beautiful memories together. My husband and I love to go on vacation together. Every year we plan one family vacation and one vacation that’s just the two of us.
HOW DO YOU START?
Building a strong marriage together requires a lot of patience, forgiveness, and understanding. No one is perfect, and couples must be prepared to accept each other’s flaws and work through challenges together. You can start by:
- Writing down each other’s needs and goals in order of priority
- Mark a time on your calendar to communicate openly and honestly. Make it a safe space for both of you with no interruptions.
- Come up with a shared activity you both enjoy.
By putting God in the middle of your marriage you can build a strong and successful marriage. You will have a loving and respectful relationship that can withstand any obstacle. We’ve learned the power of prioritizing your spouse, practical steps to take, the importance of love and respect, effective communication tips, and how to build a strong marriage together. Remember, it’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
Take action today and start putting your marriage first!
Stacia